


Supposed to Love You

by orphan_account



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy
Genre: Angst, Aromantic, Gen, Unrequited Crush, Van Days
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-27 02:51:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18295370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: And here’s the thing. Patrick means to say, “Yeah, I get that.” Or maybe, “Is there anything I can do?” Or even, “Well, what happened to that therapist you were seeing?” But Patrick has been hiding a crush (more than a crush, honestly) on Pete pretty much since they met. And he knows it’s unrealistic, knows it’s kind of stupid, but sometimes he wishes that he could love Pete enough to help him get better.





	Supposed to Love You

**Author's Note:**

> *This is tagged Aromantic, but Pete does not explicitly use that label because he doesn’t know it. Also, Patrick is unintentionally a bit of a dick about it. (Oops.)*
> 
> Anyway, I just needed to get this one out. Hope you enjoy!

“Hey, Trick, you awake?”

 

Patrick swats Pete’s hand away from his arm and rolls over, wincing when he hits his head on a guitar case. “No.”

“Dude, c’mere, Andy and Joe went in to try and get a room, but you gotta see the stars out here. They’re fucking insane,” Pete says, with far too much energy for whatever unearthly time it currently is. 

“I’m not getting up unless it’s to get into a bed,” Patrick snaps, but of course, because Pete is Pete, he’s not satisfied with that answer. 

“Nope, you’re coming outside. Let’s go.” Pete grabs Patrick’s arm and nearly dislocates it as he pulls Patrick out of the car seat and sends them both tumbling onto the gravel of the motel parking lot. 

Patrick swears, shoving Pete off of him as quickly as possible. No matter how pissed off he is, his body still tends to have _reactions_ towards Pete, and Patrick does not need to deal with that shit right now. He’s about to climb back into the van when he catches sight of the stars, and huh. They’re gorgeous, actually, so much brighter in this sky than they could ever get close to Chicago, and there’s so many more than Patrick’s ever seen before. “Huh,” he says. 

“I know, right?” Pete exclaims. “Here, it’s even better on top of the van, c’mon.”

He hops onto the hood, then onto the roof, waving for Patrick to follow. 

“How do you even - don’t answer that, actually,” Patrick says, following Pete up with a sigh. The van creaks and groans under their combined weight, the only sound in the night until Pete speaks again.  

“It’s just so crazy how small we are, you know?” he says. “Like, we’re out here touring and playing these shows and it feels like it’s all that matters, but it’s really all just _tiny_.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” 

Pete doesn’t respond to that, and Patrick looks over at him to see if he’s okay. 

Pete’s curled in on himself, looking impossibly small in one of his ugly hoodies and impossibly sad as he looks up at the sky. Patrick, not for the first time, kind of wants nothing more than to reach over and kiss him until he smiles again. 

But that’s terrifying, even on a night like this, so he settles for, “Are you okay?”

Pete sighs softly. “Yeah, I guess. I just … I don’t know. I feel like I’m suffocating in how big everything is, and I can’t - I don’t know where to even start looking for a lifeline.” 

And here’s the thing. Patrick means to say, “Yeah, I get that.” Or maybe, “Is there anything I can do?” Or even, “Well, what happened to that therapist you were seeing?” But Patrick has been hiding a crush (more than a crush, honestly) on Pete pretty much since they met. And he knows it’s unrealistic, knows it’s kind of stupid, but sometimes he wishes that he could love Pete enough to help him get better. 

And so here’s the thing - Patrick means to say, “Yeah, I get that,” but what comes out is, “Well, maybe I could, um, I could be your lifeline.”

Pete visibly stiffens, his posture shifting and changing into something Patrick can’t interpret. “What do you mean?” he says carefully.

“Just -“ Patrick’s thankful for the way the darkness hides his blush. His heart feels like it’s going to beat out of his chest; everything is spinning around him and fuck, is he really about to this and goddamnit, he should’ve just stayed in the van. “Um. Fuck, Pete. I don’t - if I have to spell it out, I don’t think there’s a point in saying it at all.” 

“You - oh. Oh.”

The silence stretches to the moon and back before Patrick says, “Just forget it, okay, forget I said anything, it’s fine, it’s not a big deal.” He moves to get off of the van, but Pete grabs his shoulder and holds him back. 

“Trick, dude, hang on, it’s okay, I’m just -“ 

“Straight, yeah, no, I get it, Pete, seriously. You’re not interested. It’s fine.” 

Pete sounds almost like he’s about to cry when he says, “No, no, that’s not it, you’re amazing, but I don’t. Fuck. I don’t think I know, like, _how_ to be in love.” 

“You don’t have to make excuses,” Patrick sighs. He slides off of the roof of the van and lands on his feet with a soft grunt. “I’m just going to go to bed.”

Pete jumps down immediately after him. “No, no, I’m not making excuses, I really just - I don’t know what it is, okay, but I don’t fall in love with people, I don’t get crushes on people, and I - “

“No luck, guys,” Joe calls, cutting through Pete’s words. He and Andy are walking out of the motel with their bags slung defeatedly over their shoulders. “The only rooms they have are way more than we can afford.” 

Pete’s shoulders slump. “Okay, I guess we’ll just keep driving then. Andy, isn’t it your turn?”

Andy yawns and nods. “Yeah, you and Patrick get some sleep, and Joe and I will just take turns until we get wherever the hell we’re going.” 

“Sounds good,” Pete says as he gets into the van and sits down next to Patrick. “Trick, I’m sorry, I can explain, okay? Well, sort of, I don’t even really know what’s going on, but I just swear it’s nothing about you, okay?” 

“Save it, Pete.” 

Patrick rolls over, making sure to watch out for the guitar case this time, and tries to force down the ache of rejection. Andy starts driving away from the parking lot, and the stars watch overhead as Pete and Patrick both sit sleepless. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading this!


End file.
